Exhausted

Emmm...today I felt damn exhausted. Before lunch, I went to MOF at Kemaman. Then, back home a while see my Lolo. My granny told me how bad my Lolo. He had stolen others food. But, how could I scold my Lolo. Of course, he quite naughty but smart too. I love you Lolo.

Okey, then after lunch back to my office. Nothing special. I read stupid article from someone insane. Stupid article and nonsense. 

Today, the most exhausted after through the most longest day.

I  need some rest before wake up for tomorrow!

Me today!

 

Last night, mata aku keras sangat nak penjam. Blinked watch at the roof. Pelik kan? Dahlah hujan lebat. Sejuk. Sedap apa tido. It not for the first time aku tak leh tido but, around this week, almost every night aku tak leh tido. Dekat2 subuh terlelap, bila bangun mengantuk Ya TUHAN!

So, after isi minyak kereta aku ke McD. Siap beli yang besar lagi coffee. Satu lagi yang kecik nak bagi sape2 datang opis awal.

Tapi hari ini belakang aku sakit nak mampus. Nak pusing stereng kereta sakit:( Oh tidak!

BODOH dan BENCI

wHAt the most I HATE?????
Of course lah SUPPLIERS & FREELANCES!

Suke sangat menjual nama person in charge!
Okey, they all ni nak hapdets depan bos. So, call tanya.
aku cakap, please WAITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! Nanti adalah payment.
Bukan senang nak rolling duit mula2 business.
Sabarlah sikit.
Lepas tu, jual nama. Mulalah email dan kol cakap benda aku x cakap.
Berapa kali dah aku kena!
Freelances...entah sape janji nk bg advanced.
Lepas tu, aku tangungg sumpah maki semua freelances.
Sakit telinga aku mendengar orang duduk berleter.
Tu belum lagi yg bagi warning ke aku!
Hate!!

Suatu hari nanti....

Aku dengan my office attire. Emm ada 2 helai. Satu lagi colour maroon yang cantik. I like. Yang ni kaler kelabu. Still nice but I love maroon much more! Kenapa? Sebab lambat kotor. Nak makan sampai comot pun x apa. Emm....aku bukan nak bercerita pasal baju ni . I wanna tell u " I WANT TO GO FAR AWAY". But, why???

Okey, keje sini memang best. Gang2 pun kepala ting tong ramai. Gaji? Bolehlah lagi nak berjola-joli. Hehehehhe...rumah pun dekat. X sampai 10 minit dah boleh sampai. 

Tapi, aku still kuar awal. Dalam pukul 7.30 pagi dah keluar. Tapi, sampai lambat gak, Because, aku mesti gie kedai dulu. Beli susu atau biskut. Then, baru move on to office. 

Story begini. Aku benar2 terasa hati ngan beberapa orang manusia. Antara pekerja di sini dan orang luar office. Disebabkan itu, aku ingin pergi. Tapi aku kena buat slow2. Sebab sekarang keadaan agak genting. Tambah2 lagi akhir tahun. Yang penting, aku kena pastikan semua dalam keadaan stabil sebelum aku pergi. Mungkin my sweet bos boleh handle, tapi aku kena fikir gak belas kasihan yang amat sangat. Dia nak kejar duit, dia nak kena habiskan duit nak bayar kat sape. Emmm....x patut aku buat macam tu.

Jadi, I need to wait. Boleh aku usha2 keje yang best2. Sambil2 tambah pengalaman dan ilmu.

Memang banyak benda aku belajar dari sini. Kutip ilmu setiap satu.

Yang penting, aku melangkah keluar dari sini suatu hari nanti dengan penuh pengalaman dan ilmu!

sTOP CurSE PTPTN

 

Tak tahu macam mana aku nak mulakan. Tapi inilah hakikat sebenarnya. Okey, terus terang aku katakan. Masa proses nak ambil loan ngan PTPTN, borang aku ada masalah. Aku turun naik pejabat. Mintak surat itu dan ini. Tapi, x ada rezeki. Finally, aku pun gunalah "SCHOLARSHIP" keluarga aku. Walaupun duit MUMMY, PAPA dan ABANG aku tu cukup2 untuk sara hidup, sekurangnya aku dapat gak makan nasik 2 kali sehari. Dapat gak berjola-joli. Yang bestnya, dah abis study, otak x payah sakit2 nak pikirkan nak bayar hutang.jajajajjajajajaja....

Bukan ini aku nak highlight. Tapi, aku selalu dengar orang kutuk2 PTPTN. Kononnya PTPTN tu riba. Sampai, masa kelas agama, ada seorang tu tanya, PTPTN ini riba x??? Nak je aku tanya dia, "Abis duit hang dok beli baju, makan minum dan shopping tu duit hasil riba lah?".

STOP CURSED PTPTN! 

Motto aku arini. Bukan apa. Korang ni,kutuk2 PTPTN. Kononnya PTPTIPU lah. Tapi, duit x masuk lagi, korang dah plan itu ini. Duit masuk, terus gi makan sana sini. Beli macam2. Beli handphone baru, gajet itu dan bla bla bla. Nasib baik aku bukan pegawai PTPTN, kalau x, dah lama aku sekat duit x bagi korang.

 Cuba korang bayangkan nasib korang x baek, x dapat pinjaman. Masa kengkawan dapat duit, beli baju baru, makan kat hotel 5 bintang, korang tengok sambil minum air masak. X ke malu? Dalam hotel 5 bintang, ko teguk air masak je! Bukan x ada duit, tapi kena berjimat. X leh belanja lebih2, kan x cukup duit. Hmmm...
Tu belom lagi abis kelas kena gie keje. Keje partime. Cari duit. Badan penat nak mampus. Mahunya 10 kg hilang lemak kat badan!
Bersyukurlah dapat pinjaman PTPTN. Sekurangnya, bagi mereka yang x mampu, dapat jugak korang jejak kaki ke universiti. Dapat jugak korang ilmu dan qualification untuk ubah nasib keluarga korang. Tapi AWAS! Jangan berlagak dan berjoli lak dengan duit pinjaman. Sedar diri kita ni siapa. Kita belum bekerja. Kena jimat cermat dan berhati2 dalam perbelanjaan. Harus tahu bagaima control and manage our financial.
Dah abis study, please pay it back. Sikit2 pun x apa. Walaupun RM50 sebulan. Yelah pada korang tersekat nak pergi luar negara, dan the worse kadar bunga makin naik. Baik bayar. Sikit2, lama2 jadi gunung gak.
Memang korang cakap, "Aku boleh lah bagi nasihat sebab aku tak ambil pinjaman'. Aku jelaskan sekali lagi. Bukan x nak ambik. tapi ada masalah sikit menyebabkan aku x dapat pinjaman.
Okey, jangan lupa bayar PTPTN apabila dah keje!

Choco and wafer

Dark chocolate belong to my sweet bos, Nora Saiman.
Loacker Wafer Sandwich belong to me.
Hamper from supplier. dont know who. Maybe PFCE.
Nice and delicious...

Marah dan Benci

Biarlah. Hari ini aku nak bercakap dalam BM kerana di pejabat, TODAY IS ENGLISH DAY. Emmm...sebenarnya aku mrah sangat dengan beberapa ekor manusia ni. Layak ke aku panggil mereka ekor? Memang layak pun. Let's begin the story.

Well, dulu aku free hair and 50% sexy lah. But, honestly, I STILL VIRGIN or in Melayu MASIH ANAK DARA. Alah, aku nakal kalau sms atau calling atau chatting je. Tapi, aku tak pernah buat benda jahat. Dalam SMS,memang boleh taip macam2 beb! Macam call, leh cakap macam2. Begitu gak chatting, leh taip macam2. But, I really NEVER AND EVER do benda bodoh. Masih tahu jaga diri.

Tapi, people sekeliling aku suke sangat anggap orang yang free hair ni celaka. Hanjeng betul. Kan dah kuar ayat mulut jahat aku! I really hate.Well, am I deserve to change??? 

Another things, aku syak mamat ni buka handphone aku and stalks my SMS and pictures. Because hanya Hippo yang panggil aku MAMA ok? Then, how could he know? Ni buat aku sangat marah dan rasa nak tikam je celaka ni. Pernah ke aku stalk your handphone? Tak pernah kan??? He make me DAMN ANGER, but I still could manage and control it. 

Next, ni pun sekor lagi buat aku rasa nak terajang. Aku bagi dia pinjam my external hardisk. Aku dah pesan, PLEASE DONT OPEN MY FILE. Tapi tadi, dia dengan tak bersalahnya tanya pasal trip aku ke BEIJING.

U know what it's mean??? Dats mean dia telah membuka file aku. Dan, I felt DAMN worse because gambar2 di BEIJING, gambar aku free hair and still sexy. Aku rasa nak tumbuk je muka dia tapi BE PROFESSIONAL! Nasib baik aku ingat dan reckon he as my fellow lagi!

Aku betul2 benci dan benci. Tapi aku takkan menangis. Cukuplah aku boycott korang dengan tidak bercakap dengan korang lagi lepas ni. Ohhh ya. Lepas ni, these kind of guy aku remove dari ingatan aku. And I never reckon you as my friends lagi. 

Dan tak boleh ke korang jangan pandang rendah kat orang free hair? X boleh korang bagi peluang mereka berubah jadi baik? Dan tak boleh ke lelaki2 kat dunia ni tak SMS benda2 OBSCENE kat aku? Apa, korang ingat aku ni pelacur? X boleh ke lelaki x bergurau benda2 OBSCENE ngan aku? X boleh ke?

I MAY OPEN-MINDED, BUT SOMETIME WHEN YOU SO MUCH JOKING WITH STUPID STUFFS, I WILL THINK YOU ARE BASTARD!

Space u and Space me

Triangle love??? U really mean it? I dont think I am in love with him. We just friend and forever be friend. I had called him and ask apologize. Easy right?
The reason I avoid him because I need my space.After thrown Hippo away, I manage myself properly. I need space to things and convince myself that I done the right things. I done the right decision.
And, my friend had engaged. I gave him space to be more with his fiancee.
Understand it??

My advices

Is it married for one day or forever til you died?? I asking you the question. Well it not easy to marry without good financial management and saving. At least, you need job and car. It not demand, but car is really important. Car is necessary to move on everywhere.
Yes, you can say, there are lot of public transport. But, imagine. Do you willing to wake up early morning to go work? At back home at night just to wait public transport. And, imagine, you or your family getting sick at night, how can you send them at hospital?By walking or waiting for ambulance? No public transport at night especially at rural area.
Next, saving. Saving for your future. In case, you need new house or any accident happens, you got saving. So, you will save.
A lot of things we need to manage before tie the knot. Love will not ensure you can eat tomorrow. Even, love cannot ensure you will happy.
If you see others marry, dont follow them if you not really ready. Dont think it short, but look your future. Your babies, yourself and your family.
And dont think happily till hereafter, try to think instead. I mean, what you will do if your dream not comes true? At least, you have back plan for future. Doesnt mean I encourage you think negative, but take once in your life plan and make back up plan for your future.
We always said, dont think negative. But, life not as we think. Full of risks and trials.
If we could take once in our life think of negative, we may never falling down in future if our dream not come true/

Final Decision of Mine

Final decision after took longest period thinking about this stupid matters. Okey. Finally, I got courage to tell Hippo. I had threw him away from my colourful life. And please think or put in our mind, we never know each others. Ohh GOd??Am I did the right things???

I had fell in love with him before. But now, my love for him gone. Totally zero. And I felt bad when he keep SMS and call me. I hate his SMS and call. 

Today, the most I love day. My courage! I told him. Hopefully he understand:)

I such great LIaRRR!

Honestly, aku bukan seorang yang baik.Too many lies I had done. Okey, before, I had lied Hippo. He asked go out. Then, I said "Sorry I got fever. Wanna rest". Lepas tu, dengan bangganya aku keluar shopping. At the first, aku tak sedar lagi. Rupanya, aku dengan bangang park my car besides Hippo's car. DAMN! 

I make my shopping hurry. Takut bumped. Luckily keluar, Hippo's car dah tak ada. Thanks God!

Last nite, he SMS asking to go out today. But, I want to go shopping. Then, I lie him again. I told him, I had emergency problem. So, I cant go date with him. Maybe later....hheheheehehehehee

Hippo, I would like remind you. I DONT WANT BE YOURS ANYMORE. Please leave me in peace!

No mood or anger???

I really not in the mood to write anything. In my mind, just thinking about STARBUCK ice blended. 

I reckon him as my friend of mine. When he SMS told his engagement, okey. I wish him all the best.

Never felt worse in my heart.

Actually I got DAMN miserable today because of my beloved handphone. Really make me such freak bastard. Ohhh gonna throw it away. I had pay it twice for this month. But, suddenly, they had block my phone. Shit!!!

I NEED TO PAY AT LEAST RM100 to re-open it. Really make me feel like damn bastard.

Nevermind! I will pay it.So, I pay it at Mesramall. And, she told me, I can use my phone after 2 hours. And I so fool wait and holding my phone. After 2 hours and 30 minutes, my phone still inactive. 

I called once again. He answer my call. Done the same step like before.Got little bit anger. Then, he told me I need to wait another 2 hours. Damn!!!

I really got such BIG AND HIGH LEVEL OF ANGERRRRRRRR!!!

Sorry for the CS! I waited such long time. I had cursed him. Amazingly, after 30 minutes, they had activated my phone.

Here, there are need CURSED and ANGER to push someone COMPLETE their job??

Heartache

Days passed very fast. I can forget you at all. No more love and sorrow for every moment we had together. Lonely? The word so cruel for me. But, I can deny it! I have my Shiro and Yellow to fulfill my day. To cheer up me when I sad. And make me cool when I getting angry.

 Begging? I had begging you so many times! Stupid I am!Fool and bastard. And I promise to myself, never let others hurt you. I can hurt others instead. For what? Seeking revenge.

BITCH? Or bitchy??Which one the most correct to picture me? Think by yourself. I dont have any answer for that.

I will try NEVER cry after all, and try to be strong even I weak...

Action Needed!

Aku ada berkawan baik dengan seorang mamat ni. Terus terang aku cakap, perasaan atau cinta memang x ada. Aku sekadar sms dan call dia. Sebab? Sebab bila aku x call atau sms dia, mesti aku kena marah. Aku pun x faham. So,nak menyedapkan hati dia, aku sms lah dan sekali sekala cal dia.
Okey, another things he goona get engaged this Thursday. Aku wish congrats lah. Then, aku pergi mandi. Langsung aku kena marah sebab macam elakkan diri dari dia.
Imagine, ko akan bertunang dengan perempuan lain. Dan ko sibuk sms dan call perempuan lain.Aku bukan apa. X nak lah nanti orang cakap aku ni menganggu tunang orang ke, apa ke. Aku malas nak kol dia dan sms dia. Sebab aku x nak dicop sebagai perempuan jahat atau gedik. Emmm...
Sekarang ni, apakah yang patut aku buat??Dia nak kawan dengan aku, tapi aku x nak kawan dengan dia. Apakah yang harus aku buat??

MY GAnjaaaaaaa

Tadi balik keje, aku terus baring. Jarang aku bring. Balik terus solat. Kalau time "cuti", balik terus masak makan malam. Tapi kepala aku pening sangat. X larat sangat rasanya.. Bestnya kalau dapat bantal busuk aku ngan selimut. Nikmat beb!!!

Tetiba teringat. Patut pening semacam. Aku belum berganja.Hehehehehehhee....so aku cari stock aku. Alamak dah abis. Then aku pikir. Keluar gi beli malas. Jadi, aku cari dan mecari.. 

Teringat stock aku yang dah berlapk. Terus selongkar semua beg2 dan banrang2 aku. Sampai bawah katil pun cari. Cehhhh kejadahnya!

Akhirnya berjmpa jugak. Fuhhhhh...lega.

Apa lagi...terus panaskan air dan kacau buat 

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CAPUCCINO & LATTECINO!!!

Ni lah ganja aku sebenarnya. Sehari x minum, hazab mak!!! Rasa cam nak pecah kepala x dapat minum.

Okey enough for today. Nak minum dulu!!